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Sunset on the Hill

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Her hair shimmered in the sun, flowing like gold in the gentle breeze. Softly she smiles, speaking lovingly with her eyes. Through the whispers of the trees, and the beating of my heart, her laughter comforted me. I could live every day like this… with her…

 

Embraced by the strength of his arms, and the warmth of his skin. His gaze weakens me to my core. Brushing his lips against mine, he eludes to kiss me, and I melt as these sweet lips breathe past mine.  Shivering, sensually, softly,  he stops only to meet eyes.  I could live every day like this… with him…

 

****

 

I remember that day like it was yesterday. A day that would change me forever. A chance encounter. Taking a break from my book, I set off to watch the sunset. From the hill he was no more than a shadow- tall and dark, even slightly mysterious. The brush folded in front of him, as if dodging his long powerful strides.  The distance between us grew shorter, deepening my daydream until everything disappeared around us.

 

"Hello there."

 

Re-emerging from the drifting of my thoughts, his voice startled me.

 

"Oh, um. Hello." Girlishly blushing now, I giggled slightly embarrassed. I could finally see his face. Ruggedly handsome yet soft, and charming. He was much taller than his shadow appeared to be, and visibly fit through the shape of his flannel shirt.

 "Um, sorry, I wasn't staring, I was trying to see past the light of the sun in my eyes."

 

"No worries, It is that time of day. My favorite actually. I was heading up that hill over there to watch the sunset."

 

"You're kidding right? Did my sisters put you up to this?

 

"I'm sorry, what? Your sisters? I'm not sure what you mean." Confusion painted his expression, hinting to the sincerity of his question

 

"No, I'm sorry, nevermind. Sunset is my favorite part of the day, and I, myself, was heading to that very hill."

 

"You don't say? Well, in that case,  I reckon we should go together"

 

He smiled and reached out his hand, waiting for mine. A warm curiosity rushed over me as I abandoned any sense of reluctance and reached out to meet his hand as well. Our eyes fixed momentarily as we exchanged smiles and breathed in each other's excited relief.

 

****

 

I held her hand until she took her last breath. Her eyes never opened again. Laying my head on her chest, I prayed I would hear something, anything. But nothing.  Instead I felt the aching in my own chest. A pain that ripped the breath from my lungs and paralyzed every muscle in my throat. How would I be able to speak or breathe ever again? Fifty-six years surrounded by her love, and comfort, my joy is gone now forever.

 

 

****

 

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"Promise me that we can stay here forever. That you will bring me here when my time is up"

"Don't speak of such things, we will live forever! As long as we share this love, we will have this place"

"Be serious, my darling, promise me, we will be here together in the end."

"If that is what you wish, my dearest, then for you, I promise"

 

****

 

News of her passing made its way to her hometown, and in return, I received the letter.

 

"You have our sympathies during this difficult time. We understand there

 are many details which must be taken care of which may not be suitable for

 someone in your condition. For this reason, I and my other sisters will be

 arriving  this Wednesday morning to begin the preparations of travel for our

sister's body to be returned home with us.  Please do your best to store her

 belongings for pickup at a later time.  We will be holding her funeral

 service as well as her burial here.

                                                  Best Regards,

                                                    Judith."

 

Collapsing with the falling of the letter, the pain returned once again. How could they? She never wanted to return home, not in life and especially not in death. My condition? I am old, I do not have a condition! She despised her sisters and everything they stood for. She would not allow this.  Pulling myself into the armchair, feeling weak and never more alone. I wish she was here, so she could tell me what to do. Resting my chin in the palm of my hand, I drifted off to sleep.

 

The deep chime of the wall clock shattered my slumber. What day is it? Tilting my bifocals towards the desk and then at my watch. Monday night. Turning towards the window expecting to see her sitting in her cozy chair reading, I glanced over instead to an empty one, breaking another piece of my heart.  Ready to let go and succumb to the sadness, I began yelling angrily at  the empty chair. But then, the box!  As quickly as I could, I made my way to the bedroom and opened the small door in my night stand. I reached in, grabbed the box and sat on the edge of the bed. It was just as beautiful as the day she gave it to me. Covered in black velvet, painstakingly adorned with a soft gold ribbon. Attached to it, a small, folded card with her elegant handwriting. Running my finger across it, hesitating for a moment to open it.

 

"Play this if you ever feel lonely" 

 

She had gone away for more than a month after the death of her mother. I found it in place of an old bottle of Whiskey I kept for when I needed to drown my sorrows in something. She was the clever sort of sneaky that always knew what was best for me.  Once I found the box where she left it, I never touched the hard stuff again. Holding it in my hands, I felt her there, guiding my hand to wind it up. With a deep sigh, I released it and waited.  Soft notes filled the silence as the music box began to play. Closing my eyes I remembered those wonderful nights. Holding her close, dancing by the fireplace as she hummed along in my ear. Cheek to cheek, hand in hand floating on our own cloud.

 

As it began to wind down, the sadness returned, but only for a moment. I know what I must do.

 

****

 

"You know this is illegal. They will try to have you arrested for this."

 

"You have to help me. I cannot do this myself"

 

James never turned his gaze from me. The seriousness in his face was unsettling. We had been neighbors for many years and despite the twenty year age difference, we had grown to be the closest of friends. Shaking his head, and looking all around before returning his glance to me, then back down again.

 

"How much time do we have?" He replied, in his most I-can't-believe-I-am-doing-this tone, before sneaking in a  half,one sided smile

 

"Barely long enough."

 

****

 

Wearing her most elegant gown, her favorite pearls, and surrounded by flowers, I admired her beauty upon the hill. Streaming ribbons laced the willow above and danced in the gentle breeze. Still shimmering in the sun, her hair rested upon her shoulders. Unlike the sunset of which we were wed, upon this very hill, on this day, her soft smile and loving eyes are only a memory. For when the sun has set, and night begins, I will descend this hill without her, unlike ever before. As on this day, after the sunsets, I will lay her to rest, in this place where I promised her so.

 

James and I reached the bottom of the hill when I stopped and turned to him.

 

"Did you bring them?"

 

" I was hoping you would change your mind. I don't feel right doing this. If anyone finds out, I  could lose my practice. I could be arrested, or worse! I can't let you do this. I can't be a part of this. You are my best friend. This isn't right.”

 

"James, my dearest friend. I lost the joy of my life. Her sisters are going to try to take her from me, and will stop at nothing to find her if I don't tell them where she is. I have nothing left. I am old. And I promised her we would be together here in the end. Please."

 

James turned away to brush the tears from his eyes. Looking up he silently prayed for forgiveness and swallowed his instinct to resist. Reaching into his front pocket and closing his hand he turned back again. His two hands held one of mine and he paused for a moment.

 

"Goodbye old friend". Without another word, James opened his hand in mine, bowed his head and walked away.

 

With a clenched fist I ascended the hill one last time. Sitting down next to her I opened my hand and stared at the handful of pills. Swallowing each and every one of them I kissed her on the forehead and laid beside her on the hill…

...surrounded by flowers, beneath the willow with the dancing ribbons.

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